Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
