She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
