I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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