Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
