Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
