I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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