i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
