just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
