She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
