If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
