pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
