Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
