So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
