can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
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