your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
