Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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