me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
