even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
