Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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