I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
