why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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