Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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