belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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