Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
