mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Where did you get a picture of my penis
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I need a beard to bite.
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