it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It's never too late to be topless.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
