i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
