**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
