how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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