i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
