Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize