I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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