I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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