Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It's not a walk of shame if you run
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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