No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
