Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
