The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
