if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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