Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
