Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
