I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
love makes seman taste better
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize