youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
