we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
