Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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