And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
