Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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