Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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