big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
zippers are such a cool invention
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
