go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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