If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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