So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
