we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Pants are for mortals
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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