Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
