like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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