I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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