You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
