Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
